In my earlier coaching days, I met a teenager who, to his mother’s dismay, studied by making tiny notes on post-it’s and sticking them to the ceiling in his room. When crunch time came, he would lie on the floor with binoculars and revise his work. 😊
I find it fascinating how we are all uniquely designed. Have you noticed that children who grew up in the same household, with the same upbringing can be so different in how they approach life, make decisions and handle situations?
While personality traits differentiate us, our temperament plays a big part in how we perceive the world and interact with others. Temperament, or sometimes also called disposition refers to aspects of your personality influenced by your biology, not your experience. Temperament informs how you behave and move through the world.
The most significant difference between temperament and personality is that you were born with a temperament, while your personality develops gradually as you age. Your temperament is fixed.
There are four main types of temperaments as described by the physician Hippocrates in 400 BCE:
· Sanguine (warm, optimistic, social) YELLOW
· Phlegmatic (relaxed, apathetic, slow-moving) GREEN
· Melancholic (analytical, quiet, nostalgic) BLUE
· Choleric (irritable, quick to react) RED
These wonderful, weird ways of being wired that discern us from each other, make life interesting and add a splash of color to the world. Yet, it can also give way to so many misunderstandings, false assumptions, and miscommunication. In a world filled with different personalities, temperaments, and characteristics, how do we exercise caution that our wiring is not offensive or hurtful to someone else? How do we communicate with someone in a language that they understand?
We tend to feel naturally inclined to people who think the way we do. Maybe, as a parent, we connect more effortlessly with the child that is most like us. We prefer the co-worker that ‘speaks our language’. For the go-getter, action-oriented A-type commands seem the obvious choice while the more relaxed temperament would prefer a cup of coffee and a heartfelt discussion.
Yellows speak a language of people and fun. Their attitude is one of trust me it will all work out. The more serious Reds are all about power and control, with a very competitive streak. Greens just need harmony and peace. They prefer doing things the way it has always been done. Order and perfection are the language that the blue temperament requires. Their basic need is respect.
Just by reading the above you can probably guess what your temperament is. These distinctions seem obvious, but understanding their impact on relationships is significant. Learning how someone reacts to situations and responses is helpful as you can adapt by tailoring communication techniques and listening habits. Knowing ourselves and recognizing the different temperaments, opens us up to a whole new world of mindfulness and insightful communication.