When we feel that we have no power over our past, we are filled with regret.
When we feel that we have no power over our future, we become fearful.
When we feel that we have no power over our present, we become discouraged.
The feeling of powerlessness ignites a whole spectrum of negative emotions.
The thought that there’s not much we can do about our job, our weight, the relationship we are in or the economy forces us to look at our lives fatalistically. It encourages us to accept and tolerate an average and weak life.
If only I knew what to do….
5 steps to regain power over your life:
1. Take inventory
Taking stock of your life is a good way of ‘cleaning out the closets’. But it can become overwhelming if we try to do it all at once. Remember, Rome was not built in a day – slow down and start making better decisions daily.
· Be specific. Instead of saying I want to lose weight and travel, say I want to lose 15 pounds and see the Grand Canyon this year.
· Be realistic. You can’t lose 20 pounds a week. Set goals that are challenging but achievable.
· Be accountable. Write your goals down and share with someone. Writing your goals down not only forces you to get clear on what, exactly, it is that you want to accomplish, but it also motivates you to complete the tasks necessary for your success.
2. Control your thinking
Controlling your thoughts sounds great, but practically, how do you do it?
Think about what you think about. Be mindful. Stop. Spend 10 minutes a day to do nothing, but to develop a heightened sense of awareness of the here and the now. Think about the thoughts that enter your mind and how you react to them. Focus and pay more attention to stimuli. To control your thinking, you must intentionally monitor incoming information - don’t just accept it! You have to take every thought captive, reflect on it and redesign those thoughts that have a negative influence on you.
See this as training your brain to develop new pathways. Instead of treading the same way you would without even thinking about it, start consciously taking a different path until that one becomes your new default.
3. Stop apathy
Apathy is a comfortable way to forget about all these negative feelings we experience, a way to suppress all the emotions. We live in a time that actively discourages engagement.
Stop apathy. Start with what you have. You do not need to read another book or watch another TED Talk. You have enough knowledge. Your numbness and apathy are not the result of a lack of knowledge, it is a lack of commitment and courage. Take the first step! Stop saying ‘if I only knew what to do’… What if, you start to do, that which you already knew?!
4. Trust the process
Do not get discouraged if you don’t see immediate results. Stick to the long-term plan even in the face of bad, short-term outcomes. Make every day count. We eat an elephant, one bite at a time. Things may not look great now, but remember you have a plan in place. You are moving forward.
5. Expect
Sometimes, after we underwent a long series of disappointing experiences, it is easy to get into a very bad habit of just expecting more of what you’ve already had.
Be joyful! Be optimistic. Living in expectancy is taking a risk and believing there is an ability to achieve that which you hope for. Expect positive results!
You don’t have to feel powerless. Remember, you are behind the steering wheel of your life.
And lastly, please mind your mouth. What you say truly matters. We tend to get what we expect out of life; our thoughts and our words literally determine our world.
Apply the five steps above and open yourself to new possibilities. Take back the power!
Contact me (neliajoyce@outlook.com) if you need assistance in setting clear goals in overcoming those obstacles standing in the way of a great 2019!