As a little girl I signed all birthday cards with this quote “Happiness is something you create in your mind, not something you search for but can’t seem to find.”
n the 1950s, a lesser-known experiment by Johns Hopkins researcher Curt Richter delivered a remarkable insight into the power of hope.
Richter placed domesticated rats into jars of water to observe how long they could swim before giving up. On average, the rats lasted about 15 minutes. But then something extraordinary happened. In a follow-up phase of the experiment, Richter would rescue the rats just as they were about to drown, allow them to rest briefly, and then place them back into the water.
The second time, the rats swam — not for 15 minutes — but for over 60 hours. That’s not a typo. From 15 minutes to 60 hours. The only difference? They had hope that rescue might come.
My life took an interesting turn: unexpected but ever so intriguing. When I first got involved in behavioral therapy, I never imagined where it would take me. It started as a simple curiosity, a desire to understand how I can better support parents, especially those parenting children with disruptive behaviors. Along the way, I crossed paths with some amazing therapists and professionals who specialize in Applied Behavior Analysis. Fast forward to today, and I find myself working in a school setting with children on the autism spectrum. It’s been and continues to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
Some days, I feel a deep sense of shame as I realize how much I take for granted in my own life —simple things like being able to communicate effectively, my health or navigating the world without constant struggle. But most days, I’m simply in awe of what I get to witness and be a part of.
When we are being creative, our brains release dopamine, which is an anti-depressant. While this makes us ‘feel good’, engaging in creative activities can also boost self-esteem, reduce symptoms of anxiety, and increase feelings of happiness and contentment. Creativity is linked to several mental health benefits, and yet…
We learn to color inside the lines and unlearn to think outside the box. We tell kids to stop asking why why why? We over-expose and over-structure, to the point where there’s little time to reflect or to be alone with one’s thoughts. We fill our days to the point where there is no free time.
Did you know that non-creative behavior is learned? It is not our natural inclination.
In my earlier coaching days, I met a teenager who, to his mother’s dismay, studied by making tiny notes on post-it’s and sticking them to the ceiling in his room. When crunch time came, he would lie on the floor with binoculars and revise his work. 😊
I find it fascinating how we are all uniquely designed. Have you noticed that children who grew up in the same household, with the same upbringing can be so different in how they approach life, make decisions and handle situations?
The COVID-19 pandemic has shaken every aspect of society. Concerns about mental health and substance use are at an all-time high. People stress and worry about contracting the virus, job losses, how long this pandemic will last, as well as the devastating loss of loved ones due to the universal crisis. Amid the fear, worry, and uncertainty, each day seems to bring more challenges than the day before.
We are all suffering. And though my story is not nearly as bad as some of yours, I experienced, quite possibly, the worst 2 months ever.
